1
00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:04,672
[Stewart] Relax, Marvin.
After I'm done with these guys,

2
00:00:04,964 --> 00:00:07,299
they're gonna be bankrupt
and begging for loose change.

3
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:10,553
No, I don't care that they're blind,
and neither should you.

4
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:11,846
[barista] Stevie?

5
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,430
It's Stewie.

6
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,641
You know, maybe you should pay attention.

7
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:19,186
I know the manager here.
I'm not afraid to make a call, sweetheart.

8
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,938
No, not you, Marvin.

9
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,482
Sorry, I was dealing
with some incompetent barista.

10
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,484
She's stuck here
making coffee for a living

11
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,154
because she's too lazy
to learn any real life skills.

12
00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:29,447
I'm 16.

13
00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:32,324
Did I ask for an excuse, jail bait?

14
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,036
Look, Marvin, anyways,
this is what we're going to do.

15
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,727
We're gonna drown those "blindtrepreneurs"
in a bunch of ads,

16
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:41,042
and we're gonna pay a bunch of influencers
to push our product, okay?

17
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,378
And if that doesn't work,
I'm gonna walk them off a cliff, right?

18
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,631
Because they're not
gonna see it coming. [laughing]

19
00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,218
No, obviously I was joking
about that last part.

20
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,012
Sort of.

21
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,139
Hey!

22
00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:57,975
Crouching tiger, hidden dickhead!

23
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,062
Are you gonna pay this dry-cleaning bill?
Huh? Are you?

24
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:04,857
What is it, Shrek-san?
Donkey got your tongue?

25
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,610
Oh, you wanna say
something to me, big man?

26
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,945
You wanna taste the red dragon?

27
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,074
Yeah, I didn't think so.

28
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,451
I'll kung-pow you later, pal.

29
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,452
Sorry, Marvin.

30
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,413
I had to tell a giant
to climb back up his beanstalk.

31
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:23,000
Look, I know an eye for an eye
makes the whole world blind.

32
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,753
But in this case, that doesn't apply.

33
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,963
They're already blind.

34
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,298
[doorbell jingles]

35
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,885
[gong clangs]

36
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,428
[barista] Oh, my God.

37
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,805
Thank... Thank you.

38
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,810
[soft flute music playing]

39
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:47,108
[theme music playing]

40
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,906
What about you?
Any crazy first-date stories?

41
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,598
[Rafael] I'm not proud of this one,

42
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,661
but I was three drinks deep at a bar,
and they walked up to me.

43
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,205
[Joe] Okay, now we're talking.
Let's keep going.

44
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,497
They were amazing.

45
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:48,669
I mean, fun, gorgeous,
conversation was so engaging.

46
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,088
- I was tingling.
- [Joe] Mm-hm.

47
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,508
They recommend we get a cab,
and I say yes.

48
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,262
As we're waiting, they grab me
and start making out with me.

49
00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,514
- [Joe] Here we go, Raf.
- Don't get too excited.

50
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:03,350
They had the worst halitosis ever.

51
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:07,146
The unexpected taste of their saliva
triggered my gag reflex,

52
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,318
and I puked my guts out
right there on the spot.

53
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,025
So you literally blew it?

54
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:12,026
No, sir.

55
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:13,903
They still came back to my place.

56
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:17,072
I just stayed away from mouth stuff.

57
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,701
I'm impressed and deeply disappointed.

58
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:25,789
So get this, this big guy just bowed up
at me at this coffee shop.

59
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:30,711
Moron thinks he can step to me,
but I showed him who the alpha dog was.

60
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,003
Alpha dog.

61
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,214
[barking]

62
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:36,758
Alpha dog.

63
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,096
Yeah, that's probably what happened.

64
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,724
Okay, Joe, your turn.

65
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,602
Anything that'll top Rafael's story?

66
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,020
Oh, I don't know.

67
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:51,440
What? I thought you were
some tough Army guy or something.

68
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,984
Too scared to share your story?

69
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,652
Okay.

70
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,968
- Fine.
- [sultry jazz music playing]

71
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,033
All right, so I meet this girl
at a dive bar, right?

72
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,077
And she's an absolute dime.

73
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:07,665
Uh, she's, you know, not the type
you wanna bring home to Dad,

74
00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:10,626
which happens to exactly be my type.

75
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:15,172
So we're hammered by the time
we get back to her house.

76
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:20,177
And I remember thinking to myself, "Damn,
this is way too nice of a place for her."

77
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:23,222
You know, there's, like,
bookshelves and leather couches.

78
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,808
It's like a Bond villain's pad, okay?

79
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,100
But then I see it.

80
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,645
A pool table.

81
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,937
Oh, yeah.

82
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,984
Next thing you know,
I've got her on the pool table,

83
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:40,781
and I am doing my thing,
completely focused on the task at hand,

84
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,075
when I hear a gasp.

85
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,494
I turn around.

86
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:46,954
It's her mom.

87
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:48,998
- Oh, my God.
- [Joe] Yeah.

88
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,416
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. Yeah.

89
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:51,750
Well, but...

90
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,920
she kind of looks like
she's into it, right?

91
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,465
So I actually go over,
I actually grab her hand and bring her...

92
00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,758
What the fuck?

93
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,552
What the fuck is wrong with you?

94
00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,084
You literally just told a story

95
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,185
about your threesome
with the bad-breath girls.

96
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,224
A threesome? I didn't have a threesome.

97
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,726
Avery is non-binary.

98
00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:11,478
They don't identify
as any gender exclusively.

99
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,522
[clears throat]

100
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,483
Mr. Hauser, I'd like to see you
in my office for a moment, please.

101
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,320
Mr. Hauser's my dad. You can call me Joe.

102
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,114
- And I should call you Vicky?
- Ms. Stevens.

103
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,742
My office. Now.

104
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,329
All right.

105
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,514
Mr. Hauser.

106
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,852
I'm sure that everything
is different in the military.

107
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:57,358
But here at Gasoline Dog,
we do not discuss our carnal histories.

108
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,252
And we certainly do not do so in a manner

109
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,904
that is demeaning
to women or involves incest.

110
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,236
I promise, if you would
have let me finish my story,

111
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,492
you would clearly see that
I was the one being demeaned.

112
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,786
Okay, let me stop you right there.

113
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:15,584
Karen has charged me with ensuring
that our Gasoline Dog family is safe.

114
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,837
I take my charge very seriously.

115
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:26,387
That means I want you to treat everyone
with dignity and respect.

116
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:30,391
Not like it's a barracks room.
Do you understand?

117
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:32,600
Yes, ma'am.

118
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,104
Good.

119
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,733
Welcome to Gasoline Dog.

120
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,277
Get out.

121
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615
[upbeat music playing]

122
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,577
[humming]

123
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,250
Kar-kar.

124
00:06:57,126 --> 00:07:00,212
- [sighs]
- Long time no see.

125
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:04,049
Which is so weird
because you work in my building.

126
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,177
I'm doing fine.
Thank you for asking, Lucius.

127
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:11,390
And this isn't your building.
I own my office.

128
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,350
You're right. You're right.

129
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,642
My bad.

130
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:19,773
You... You do have
that teeny tiny little office.

131
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:23,444
I just happen to own
the rest of the entire building.

132
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:28,282
Anyhoo, this is my boy, Michael,
from Kinetic Force Labs.

133
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,576
Hi, Michael. Nice to meet you.

134
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,996
The Kinetic Force Labs,
the tech incubator?

135
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,583
Um, I think I just read an article
on you in Forbes Magazine.

136
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,002
You, you're Michael McHammond...

137
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,295
[laughing] Yup!

138
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,507
Um, I was lucky enough to be
in an article, yes,

139
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,302
- on the venture with Range Recon.
- Yeah.

140
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:52,764
We're combining AI and VR together
to create a dynamic virtual gun range.

141
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,933
Super excited.
The applications are endless.

142
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,852
But thank you. Thank you for reading it.

143
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,812
- Appreciate it.
- Of course. I mean, wow.

144
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,522
It's incredible.

145
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:05,444
You're incredible,
and it's a real honor to meet you.

146
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,571
Honor is mine.

147
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:11,533
Karen, I was a small business owner too.
I was lucky enough to have a great team.

148
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,827
We blew up, and we are where we are now.

149
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,722
So that's why I'm so committed
to small business.

150
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:16,455
I love that.

151
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:21,376
You know, once upon a time,
Karen here, she had a great team too.

152
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,505
She just didn't know
how to appreciate them.

153
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:28,675
But that same team,
through raw, unbridled genius...

154
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:34,014
a little bit of savoir faire,
and a whole lot of moxie

155
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:37,601
was able to grow out of that tiny hole
in the wall you call an office, Karen.

156
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,520
I'm sorry.

157
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:40,979
He's hangry.

158
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,271
Tiny?

159
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:46,777
Tiny. I'll have you know we have
Albert Brenneman coming on as a client.

160
00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:47,736
You don't have Brenneman.

161
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,657
If you had Brenneman, you'd be
marketing his kid's bake sale.

162
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:54,629
Yeah, and you know what? We'd market
the hell out of that bake sale.

163
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,305
She'd sell more brownies than anybody.

164
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,248
- You just try me. I'll market everything.
- Karen! Karen!

165
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,142
I can see that
you're really busy right now,

166
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,686
but we need you inside
for a really important meeting right now.

167
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:04,919
So come on.

168
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,089
Uh, okay. Karen.

169
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,567
Pleasure meeting you.
I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

170
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,426
- Ashleigh-Mareigh.
- [Michael] Ashleigh.

171
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,018
- Super nice to meet you.
- [Ashleigh] You too.

172
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,933
- Come on, Karen. He's not worth it.
- Skedoodles!

173
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,312
- Why do you gotta be like that?
- That's how I am.

174
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,816
[Karen] Yeah. Lucius and I
were business partners once.

175
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,527
I wanted to focus on marketing.

176
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,696
He wanted to focus on apps.

177
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,531
And not just any apps.

178
00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:35,117
One specific app:

179
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:36,952
Shithead.

180
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,121
It's where you take a picture of someone

181
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,665
and you turn their head
into the poop emoji.

182
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,584
Isn't that stupid?

183
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,294
Who would even want that?

184
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,462
I'll tell you who.

185
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:49,505
Everyone.

186
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,550
[Lucius] I'm rich, bitch!

187
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:54,511
- [upbeat music playing]
- [cackling]

188
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:58,765
How can you possibly call
Bo Jackson underrated?

189
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:02,352
The dude has a Nike campaign
and a 30 for 30, for fuck's sake.

190
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,188
- Still underrated.
- [Joe] That's ridiculous.

191
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,774
Yeah, he's leaving
because he knows he's wrong.

192
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:12,529
No, no. Underrated would be
Brandon Jacobs, New York Giants.

193
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,239
Not only did he rack up yards,

194
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,993
but he bulldozed defenders
like they were tiny children.

195
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,662
Why would you bulldoze tiny children?

196
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,708
Sure, Jacobs was solid, but let's talk
about Matt Forte of the Chicago Bears.

197
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,712
Fourteen thousand yards from scrimmage,
and he was a triple threat.

198
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,088
Run, catch, block.

199
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:34,009
As fun as it is watching
you two laymen go back and forth,

200
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:38,138
I put out into consideration Kevin Faulk
of the New England Patriots.

201
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,265
Faulk?

202
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,560
All right, Faulk was all right,
but I mean, he's no Forte or Jacobs.

203
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:44,978
Agreed. Total role player.

204
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:49,232
Yeah, he was a role player,
and his role was pissing excellence.

205
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,610
Casuals like to call him
a third-down back,

206
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:54,029
but he could catch, run and block,

207
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,948
and always came in clutch
in crucial situations.

208
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,910
The Patriots changed
their game plan every year,

209
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,954
and you know
who always came up big? Faulk.

210
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:06,291
The Pats probably don't beat the Panthers
in Super Bowl XXXVIII without him.

211
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,126
Okay, all right.

212
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,755
I don't 100% agree with you,
but I'll give you this:

213
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,133
For a girl, you know sports.
That was impressive.

214
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:19,304
Yeah, my partner's really into sports,
so I guess it rubbed off on me.

215
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,596
[scoffs]

216
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,477
[chuckles] What the fuck was that about?

217
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,938
And that's why Sarah Verardo

218
00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,857
is this week's
North Carolina Woman of the Week.

219
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,442
You go, girl.

220
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:37,823
Someday, I'm going to be
Woman of the Week.

221
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,787
Oh, my God, Albert Brenneman
is here. Whoo!

222
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,080
Let's go!

223
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,791
Okay. Karen, let's go.

224
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,710
Okay, so it's a pleasure to meet you.

225
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,046
It's so nice to meet you. I'm so excited.

226
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,423
[door opens]

227
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,388
What's going on, guys?

228
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,516
Haven't you heard?
Albert Brenneman is coming in today.

229
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,059
He might be hiring us.

230
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,895
It could transform the company.

231
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,648
Am I the only one here
that cares about this company?

232
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,233
How did you not know?

233
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,571
I spent ten hours
in a dark room editing footage

234
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,489
with nothing but a headset on.

235
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:24,161
You guys have locked me in that office
five times in the past month.

236
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:26,037
That's why I keep a sleeping bag here.

237
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,874
So sorry.

238
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,334
But, you know, we get it. Life's hard.

239
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,004
Time for Stew-meister
to win us some biz-biz.

240
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,632
Hey, it's basically
some bigwig banker type.

241
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,385
He and his twin brother own
an investment firm,

242
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,096
crowd-fund, called Main Street Bond.

243
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,522
[indistinct chatter]

244
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,191
All right, Gasoline Dog family,

245
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:57,986
it's my pleasure
to introduce Albert Brenneman.

246
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,738
[gong clangs]

247
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:06,161
It is an absolute pleasure
to meet you, Mr. Brenneman.

248
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,500
Mr. Brenneman is pleased to meet you.

249
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:15,003
And we are pleased to meet Mr. Brenneman.

250
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,295
And you are...?

251
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,632
My name is of no consequence.

252
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:21,551
I am but a harbinger
of Mr. Brenneman's wisdom.

253
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:26,848
However, if you must, you may call me...

254
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,476
Cedric.

255
00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,186
[Joe] Nice to meet you, Cedric.

256
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,730
Though it is not nice to meet you.

257
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,275
Were it up to me,
I would wipe your tiny firm away

258
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:42,197
as one wipes ruin from their eyes
as one stirs in their bed in the morn.

259
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:46,034
However, it is not up to me.

260
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:52,290
Mr. Brenneman would like
to learn more about, uh, Gasoline Dog.

261
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,959
[Karen] Wonderful.

262
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,962
Uh, Mr. Brenneman, if you'd like
to follow me to the office...

263
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,012
What was that?

264
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,723
That was uncomfortable.

265
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,394
Only from a modern Western perspective.

266
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:16,064
In ancient Egypt,
the pharaohs had viziers.

267
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:21,695
In feudal Japan, the shogun had samurai.

268
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,864
And the Italians?

269
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,117
Consiglieres.

270
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:33,540
So the Cedric-Brenneman relationship
is the norm, not the exception.

271
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,000
[Rafael] Come on, man.

272
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,419
History and I...

273
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,339
have a long lens.

274
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:47,596
Uh, Joe, I need to see you
in my office right now.

275
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,355
[Jocelyn] I wonder
what that was all about.

276
00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,150
I'll tell you what it's about.
I turned him in for misogyny.

277
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,943
[Jocelyn] When was he a misogynist?

278
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,322
When he said that you
know sports well for a girl.

279
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:06,990
- Dude.
- Dude.

280
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:07,991
Dude.

281
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,619
You've all been poisoned
by the patriarchy.

282
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:18,585
- [techno music playing over phone]
- I don't get it. Why are they dancing?

283
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,712
It's called do-working.
It's the latest trend.

284
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,524
I'm surprised you haven't heard of it.

285
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,591
It's where you twerk
while you work, you know?

286
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,051
Do-working?

287
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,344
Okay.

288
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,139
So you'll do do-working for me
later at the company social?

289
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,184
Nah, I don't think so.

290
00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,686
I danced once
while I was in seventh grade,

291
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,189
and it did not go well.

292
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,775
- Mm.
- But thank you for talking to me.

293
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,110
- Of course.
- I'll help you, Ashleigh.

294
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,614
I'd love to get behind you
and film. [meows]

295
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,825
And I'd love for you
to never, ever talk to me again.

296
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,161
But sometimes
we can't get what we want, so...

297
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,623
[sighs]

298
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,463
[dramatic music plays]

299
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,132
[shouts] God, it's hot!

300
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:10,720
[Ashleigh] What the hell, Stewie?

301
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,309
[Stewart] I'm just trying
to not make it awkward for him.

302
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,728
You know, he knows
he got served this morning.

303
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,648
And he knows that he deserved it.

304
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,776
But rubbing it in his face is beta energy.

305
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,153
I'm gonna be the bigger man.

306
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,613
I'm gonna let him know

307
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:32,450
that there's plenty of room
in my pride for him.

308
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:36,162
- So long as he plays by my rules.
- [dramatic music playing]

309
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,547
Don't look at me like that.
Actions have consequences.

310
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,733
- They sure fucking do.
- Ashleigh-Mareigh wants to see you

311
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,117
- in her office for a marketing video.
- But this motherf...

312
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,344
And it's urgent.

313
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,057
Did you see that?
He was gonna attack me.

314
00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:00,228
Maybe you should turn him in
for almost assault.

315
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,190
Maybe you should turn yourself in
for being a biggity bitch.

316
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,482
[Rafael] What?

317
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,569
Did you turn in that budgeting pitch?

318
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,320
Yes, Monday.

319
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,451
[all laughing]

320
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,246
Screw you guys.

321
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,459
- Oh, biggity bitch.
- [Carter laughing] Oh, man.

322
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,753
[techno music playing over phone]

323
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,672
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

324
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,007
[Ashleigh] That's okay.

325
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,676
Uh, I hear that's how
they say hi in Switzerland.

326
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,427
Really? Mm.

327
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,388
Yeah, you should go there sometime.

328
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,517
You know, it's on my list.
Uh, Kevin said you needed something.

329
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,103
Yes. Can you twerk while drawing?

330
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,148
Can Old Yeller get shot
by his 12-year-old owner

331
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,120
after fighting off a pack of rabid wolves?

332
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,358
Yes?

333
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,736
Move over, girl.

334
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:52,864
I'm about to raise the roof
on this house, sir.

335
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,009
- [techno music playing over phone]
- [both] Let's go!

336
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,313
- Hey! Hey!
- Let's go! Let's go!

337
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,661
- [Joe] You gotta look back at it. Gotta...
- [laughs]

338
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,331
And then just a little...
Hey. Oh, yeah.

339
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:04,000
Ooh. Ah. Yeah. Uh-huh.

340
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,504
[footsteps approaching]

341
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,719
In my entire career
as an HR representative,

342
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:19,182
I have never had to reprimand
someone twice in one day.

343
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:22,060
- You, Mr. Hauser, have that distinction.
- [sighs]

344
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,271
But this? This is historic.

345
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:26,773
Strike three.

346
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:29,442
- I can explain this.
- [Victoria] Explain what?

347
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,403
Your illicit stories, your misogyny.

348
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,531
Sexual assault.

349
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:35,823
What?

350
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,576
I am having a very difficult time

351
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:41,496
coming up with a good reason
to keep you here.

352
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:45,041
You obviously don't respect
the office environment.

353
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:51,422
When you come in tomorrow,
it better be a good day.

354
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,258
Or it will be your last.

355
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,342
Roger.

356
00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,597
[Victoria] This is not the Army.

357
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:02,308
We have rules.

358
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,062
Mr. Hauser may think
he can have a girl in every port,

359
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,149
but we don't abide
by that kind of behavior.

360
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:14,445
This is a woman-owned business
built on dignity and respect.

361
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,699
[scoffs] Did she really say "port"?

362
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,075
That's the Navy.

363
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,744
People really don't understand
the different branches.

364
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:25,039
Anyway, I honestly
don't know what I did wrong.

365
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,710
I mean, I get the story this morning
was a bad idea, but fired?

366
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,128
Seriously?

367
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,297
Also, I know this is
a weird thing to bring up,

368
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:37,552
especially because I can't place it,
but Victoria looks super familiar.

369
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,388
No one touches my kittens but me.

370
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,516
[dramatic music playing]

371
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:54,360
Our plan isn't to hype up the idea
of Main Street Bond as a platform,

372
00:19:54,652 --> 00:20:00,074
but to show how many people you've helped
by letting them tell their own stories.

373
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,327
The proof, so to speak, is in the pudding.

374
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:06,956
And that pudding is a thriving,
American small-business community.

375
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,760
While I feel like this pitch

376
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:24,057
is more like the kind of plan
a quirky female marketing protagonist

377
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,851
in your favorite holiday romcom
would devise

378
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,813
to save her small-town boy toy's farm...

379
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,776
Mr. Brenneman likes what he sees.

380
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,820
He feels that you artfully meld
Bauhaus minimalism

381
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:41,115
with the unbridled emotion
of abstract expressionism

382
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,909
to create a modern design aesthetic

383
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:46,412
that is both mentally engaging
and visually captivating.

384
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:50,041
Uh, he said all of that just now?

385
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,252
- [Cedric] He did.
- Cool.

386
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:58,091
However, there is one small matter
to attend to with Stewart.

387
00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:00,635
It appears that your man Stewart
and Mr. Brenneman

388
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,930
had a prior engagement
that they were unable to complete.

389
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:07,809
Mr. Brenneman simply asks
that Stewart come by later

390
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,352
so that they may complete it.

391
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:14,315
At such time, we will sign this agreement
and commence the engagement.

392
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,443
Oh, well, that seems easy enough. Stewie?

393
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,530
Uh, we really don't have to.

394
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:23,658
[Cedric] No, I'm afraid
Mr. Brenneman insists.

395
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,452
Then it's settled.
He won't be disappointed.

396
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,913
[dramatic music playing]

397
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,375
[line ringing]

398
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,544
- [beeps]
- Hey, sir.

399
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,921
Joe, how are you doing, man?
How's the new job?

400
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,757
I... I think I'm gonna get fired, sir.

401
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,135
Fired? Why?

402
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,095
Honestly, I don't know.

403
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:47,682
It just seems like everything I do here
keeps pissing someone off.

404
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,435
I feel like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde.

405
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,371
I think I came to Harvard
for the wrong reasons.

406
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:53,875
I'm not sure if this place is for me.

407
00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:56,417
Maybe I should just be a contractor
for a few years or something.

408
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:57,441
I don't know.

409
00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:00,486
Joe, you're forgetting one major thing.

410
00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:01,778
Yeah, what's that?

411
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:04,741
Elle Woods did go to Harvard
for the wrong reasons.

412
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:08,536
But once she got there,
through hard work, perseverance, and grit,

413
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,122
she found out
what she was really capable of.

414
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:12,831
I mean, I guess.

415
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,542
I guess nothing.

416
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,295
Elle knew that no self-respecting Delta Nu

417
00:22:17,587 --> 00:22:20,423
would get into a shower
so quickly after getting a perm.

418
00:22:20,715 --> 00:22:23,426
And hence,
she knew her friend was innocent.

419
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:27,388
You have a surprising amount
of knowledge about that film, sir.

420
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:32,018
The point is that you didn't succeed
in the Army by being like other people.

421
00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:34,645
You did so well there
because you were you.

422
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,398
You embraced what you were good at
and you doubled down on it.

423
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:41,110
That is what made you
an exceptional soldier.

424
00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:43,237
But that didn't happen overnight.

425
00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:45,823
You had to find your way.

426
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,950
- I guess you're right.
- I know I'm right.

427
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:51,204
So then what do I do now, sir?
I'm real close to getting the boot.

428
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:54,040
Think about what
made you great in the Army.

429
00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:56,042
Why did everybody respect you?

430
00:22:56,334 --> 00:23:00,630
What's the one thing
that you do better than anyone else?

431
00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:02,173
Do that.

432
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:04,717
If you do, it'll all work out.

433
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:07,804
Thanks, sir.
I know exactly what I need to do.

434
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,472
Good to hear, son.

435
00:23:09,764 --> 00:23:10,764
Get after it.

436
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,475
- And Joe?
- Yes, sir?

437
00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:13,976
If all else fails...

438
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,687
bend and snap.

439
00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:18,355
[call disconnects]

440
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:24,195
Joe is as good as they come.

441
00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:27,490
Now, it takes him a while sometimes,

442
00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:29,367
but I have every confidence

443
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:32,995
that he's going to arrive
at the right answer.

444
00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:34,705
[sultry jazz music playing]

445
00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:36,832
Wow.

446
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:40,837
[sighs] Oh, man.

447
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,258
All right, let's get into it.

448
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:47,718
Performance?

449
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:49,511
Good.

450
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,181
Constitution?

451
00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:54,225
Excellent.

452
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:57,019
Equipment?

453
00:23:58,146 --> 00:23:59,146
Adequate.

454
00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:01,816
Looks like you still got a job,

455
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:05,570
but I expect there to be
some improvement next time we meet.

456
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:08,990
Well, you know, I actually think
I could improve right now.

457
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:11,408
Oh.

458
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:13,119
Can you?

459
00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:14,411
I might be able to.

460
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,663
[cell phone buzzing]

461
00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:22,043
Well...

462
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:24,171
shit.

463
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,632
- [pensive music playing]
- [cell phone ringing]

464
00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:31,011
Hello?

465
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:33,180
Who is this?

466
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:37,226
Oh, Michael?

467
00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:40,813
Michael who?

468
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,485
Oh, yeah, the guy I met this morning.

469
00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:46,944
You were with Lucius?

470
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:50,907
Right. How did you get my number?

471
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,119
That's crazy.

472
00:24:57,163 --> 00:24:58,664
Yeah, just hanging out.

473
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:06,589
Your appointment is here, sir.

474
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,842
Look, I think maybe
we just got off on the wrong foot.

475
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,845
So why don't we just let
bygones be bygones?

476
00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:17,391
Stewart, a long time ago,
in a long time past,

477
00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:21,312
the samurai tread
the soils of feudal Japan.

478
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:26,442
They dedicated their lives to Bushido,
the way of the warrior.

479
00:25:26,734 --> 00:25:29,612
With every word,
with every turn of phrase,

480
00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:35,701
and certainly with every action,
it was underpinned by honor.

481
00:25:36,536 --> 00:25:40,373
To insult a samurai
was more than an insult,

482
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,875
it was to challenge his being.

483
00:25:43,626 --> 00:25:46,254
It was to spit on his bloodline.

484
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:50,049
If he did not cleanse it...

485
00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:56,222
his ancestors and his future generations
would be sullied.

486
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:59,141
No, no, no.
This has gotten way out of hand.

487
00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:00,433
Silence!

488
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:03,646
If I had it my way,

489
00:26:03,938 --> 00:26:08,985
we would meet on an island
as the sun touched the horizon

490
00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,112
with swords in hand...

491
00:26:12,446 --> 00:26:16,617
and only the last man living
would be allowed to leave.

492
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:20,705
Like the great battle
between Musashi and Kojiro.

493
00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:25,918
But alas, this modern world
will not allow it.

494
00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:29,297
- Oh, thank God.
- So instead...

495
00:26:32,008 --> 00:26:33,259
wrestle!

496
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:36,429
[yelling] Oh, no! No! No, God!

497
00:26:36,721 --> 00:26:37,930
[squealing]

498
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:40,662
- I'm afraid this meeting's not quite over.
- [glass shatters]

499
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,310
- [Stewart] No!
- [cat meows]

500
00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:45,688
I let him win.

501
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,192
[theme music playing]

502
00:26:50,242 --> 00:26:54,792
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